What if I Fall: The Pocket Watch Chronicles Read online

  “Floozy? Tramp? Tart?”

  It was clear Sara had been hurt very badly by this, just as Gertrude had said. Benedict smiled sadly. “Yes, I suppose any one of those terms would do. But as I understand it, Benjamin intended to call Mark out and it would not have ended well. If I don’t engage him in a fight, the crisis is averted.”

  “Thank God.” A look of horror crossed her face. “But no, it isn’t. Benjamin will die when you go back.”

  “Sara, do you know what he intended to do?”

  She nodded. “He said he was going to make them both pay.”

  “If Mark had forced or coerced…what’s her name?”

  “Daphne.”

  “Right. If Mark had forced or coerced Daphne in any way, I would fully understand Benjamin’s desire to seek vengeance. If he were deeply in love with Daphne, and Mark had wooed her away, I could still understand Benjamin’s anger. But if what Gertrude told me about him is true, Benjamin didn’t really give a damn about Daphne.”

  Sara nodded again. “That’s true. I think he looked at her more as a possession. He essentially said he didn’t care that Mark was cheating on me, but he doesn’t share his toys.”

  “Not very gentlemanly.”

  “Not at all.”

  “So, my point is, Benjamin desired revenge purely to soothe his own ego. Gertrude said he was in a murderous rage.”

  “He was. It was frightening. When I tried to stop him, he threatened me.”

  Benedict scowled. “In that kind of fury, there is no telling what he might’ve done. All we know for certain is that it would have resulted in his death, but we don’t know who else might have been seriously injured or killed in the fight.”

  Sara gasped. “I…I…hadn’t thought of that.”

  Benedict nodded. “It would seem that in exchanging souls, the only person who will be hurt by his raging temper is Benjamin Talbot himself.”

  “I suppose you’re right. But if I hadn’t told him what I walked in on, none of this would have happened.”

  “Don’t fool yourself. Illicit relationships seldom remain hidden forever. Furthermore, you are not responsible for his actions. He set this course—no one else. He chose to seek vengeance and ultimately he will pay the price.” Benedict realized his head was swimming. “Do you mind if I sit down? I feel a bit…dizzy.”

  “Of course, please sit.” She motioned to a comfortable looking chair. “This is your cabin, after all.” She sat in a chair opposite him.

  Benedict sat and rubbed his forehead. “On top of everything else, had he been drinking?”

  “Yes. I saw him down two vodkas in the last few minutes. I don’t know if he’d had anything else.”

  “Vodka? Ugh. An abomination. And going into a fight drunk was another terrible choice.”

  “Still, I’m sorry all of this happened.”

  Benedict looked up at her, capturing her gaze. “I too am sorry it happened, but only because it has hurt you. Make no mistake, Sara, none of this is your fault.”

  “I guess you’re right.” She sighed heavily. “But what do we do now? I suspect Mark and Daphne are scouring the ship for us.”

  “How long ago did you…uh…discover them?”

  “It’s maybe been fifteen or twenty minutes. I didn’t stick around. I ran to the elevator and was on my way down before they could have gotten dressed.”

  “Elevator?”

  “I’ll explain later. Anyway, I went straight to guest services to see if I could get another stateroom but there isn’t one available. That didn’t take long. I ran into Benjamin just after that. He brought me here. It took a few minutes for me to calm down and tell him what happened. Then you arrived almost immediately. Frankly I’m surprised that Daphne didn’t come straight here.”

  “Perhaps she did. If you ran into Benjamin somewhere else, maybe she came and left when she didn’t find him.”

  “Yeah, she’d do that. She’d assume that I’d make a beeline to tell Benjamin because that’s what she’d have done if the situation were reversed.”

  “Then perhaps we have a few minutes to plan before they look here again.”

  “Plan? My plan is to get off this ship when we get into port tomorrow and fly home.”

  Benedict couldn’t believe his ears. “Fly?”

  She smiled. “Yeah, fly. I’ll explain later. I just need a place to stay tonight.”

  “You’ll stay in your own cabin, without Mark. I’ll see to it.”

  Sara gave a derisive laugh. “I can’t believe I’m such an idiot.”

  “Sara, you’re not an idiot. You’re perfectly lovely. Clearly, Mark is the idiot if he would choose another over you.”

  Her eyes filled with tears.

  Benedict moved to kneel in front of her, taking both her hands in his. “I know this has been terrible for you. You have every right to be upset. However, I’m going to ask you to be strong for a little while and keep those tears at bay.”

  She sniffed, and if anything, looked closer to tears.

  He caressed her cheek with one hand. “Please listen to me. When they find us here, you need to be hewn from granite. Don’t let them see how badly you’re hurt. You’ll only feel worse later if you do. I’ll stand by you.”

  She gave a half-hearted laugh. “Don’t do that. They’ll know something is wrong with Benjamin then. Roaring ass, remember?”

  Benedict grinned at her. “I’d almost forgotten. So I’ll pretend to be an ass. Go along with me but know that I’m with you no matter what I say.”

  “Thank you…uh…what’s your real name.”

  “It’s Benedict. Benedict MacIan.”

  She gifted him with a genuinely warm smile. “Thank you, Benedict. I would be absolutely alone in this if you hadn’t accepted the pocket watch. Worse, if in his anger Benjamin had hurt someone else, I would be devastated.”

  “You’re welcome, Sara. Now, we need to prepare. If Benjamin hadn’t stormed off ready to kill, what might he be doing?”

  “Brooding. And drinking.”

  “Then that’s what I’ll be doing.” He stood and glanced around. “Is there a wash basin here somewhere? You might want to put a cold cloth on your eyes for a moment.”

  “I look that bad?”

  “No.” He pulled her to her feet. “You look beautiful.” Something compelled him to kiss her cheek. “But you’ve been crying and we don’t want that to be quite so obvious.”

  ~ * ~

  When Benedict MacIan knelt in front of her and held her hands, she’d felt his strength flow into her. She could do this. She could face Mark and Daphne and live through it. When his lips brushed her cheek, she was flooded with warmth. Yes, she could do this. “All right. I’ll go to the bathroom and fix my face.”

  “The bathroom?”

  She laughed. “Add it to the list of things I’ll explain later.”

  She slipped into the bathroom and caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror. Benedict MacIan, you are a liar. She looked as if…well, as if she had just walked in on her boyfriend with another woman and had cried her heart out. She washed her face with a cold cloth. It had helped a little but she still looked terrible.

  Daphne’s makeup was scattered over the bathroom shelves. Desperate times call for desperate measures. She used a few drops of concealer under her eyes, dabbed a little color on her cheeks, and dusted powder over everything.

  She examined her reflection. “That’ll have to do. At least I don’t look quite as pathetic.”

  When she left the bathroom, Benedict stood staring out the doors to the balcony. “This ship must be monstrously huge. It looks as if we’re over a hundred feet above the water.” He turned towards her. “And why is there furniture out there?”

  “The ship is very large, but it isn’t even close to the biggest one there is. And the furniture is there because the door slides open.” Sara moved past him, slid the door open, and stepped out onto the balcony. “This is one of the most expensive suites on the ship and the v
iew from here is stunning.”

  He followed her, appearing more interested in the construction of the vessel than the view. “It’s steel.”

  His amazed tone made Sara smile. It could be fun to spend time with this soul from the eighteenth century. “Yes, it is. Do you know much about ships? I mean, ships in your time?”

  “As a matter of fact, I do. Shipbuilding is my business.”

  She gaped at him. “You’re kidding.”

  “No. Why would I jest about that?”

  “Benjamin Talbot is the heir to Samuel Talbot, owner of Talbot & Company. They build custom ships—yachts actually.”

  “That’s…well, I’d say it’s hard to believe, but I’ve just exchanged souls with someone and in so doing, travelled well over two hundred years into the future. So, I’m not sure why I’m surprised.”

  The sound of the cabin door opening stopped the conversation. Benedict’s set his mouth in a grim line. “Here we go. Remember, granite.”

  She nodded. “Granite.” But she wasn’t at all sure she’d be able to keep it together.

  Daphne rushed into the cabin, a fake smile plastered on her face. “There you are, Ben. I looked everywhere for you. Let’s go find Mark and see if we can convince him to have Bloody Marys with us instead of going to the gym.” Her gaze landed on Sara and her face fell. “What are you doing here? Ben, why is she here. No wonder I couldn’t find you.”

  Sara couldn’t believe her ears. Not only was Daphne going to pretend she hadn’t been with Mark, she was attempting to put Benjamin on the defensive. Sara supposed that the hurt puppy-dog expression on Daphne’s face was meant to gain sympathy, but it came off as childish and melodramatic.

  Benedict’s face was set in a grim line. “Daphne, stop.”

  “But Ben—”

  “Don’t say another word. I should be asking where you’ve been, but I know.”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “Must I spell it out for you? I don’t share. If it’s Mark you desire, then so be it. He can stay here with you. I’ll pack my things.”

  Sara forced herself not to react to that. Benjamin Talbot would have kicked Daphne out rather than choosing to leave himself.

  But Daphne was too caught up in her own lies to notice. Again, she feigned wide-eyed innocence. “I don’t desire Mark. Why would you say that? Sara, what lies have you been telling about me?”

  Sara shook her head. “Give it up, Daphne. You’re a terrible actress.”

  “What have I done to you, Sara? Are you jealous because Mark preferred to stay in the casino with us last night instead of going to bed with you? He sets up a wonderful morning in the spa for you and instead, you run straight to Benjamin and feed him lies about me?”

  “She didn’t run straight to me. After finding you and Mark, she attempted to arrange for another stateroom for herself.”

  “She set you up. She’s lying. She’s probably decided Mark’s pockets aren’t deep enough and is gunning for you.”

  Sara cocked her head to one side. “And you haven’t been with Mark this morning?”

  “No, I haven’t seen him.” Daphne snapped. “I’ve already told you that.”

  “And you weren’t alone with him yesterday at all?”

  “Of course not. I went shopping by myself in Venice yesterday morning while Benjamin was at the Casino Royale.”

  “Then how did you know Mark booked spa appointments for me? He said he did that yesterday from the hotel.”

  “I…he…I mean, I haven’t been with Mark this morning, but I ran into him when I was looking for Benjamin. He told me then.”

  Benedict arched an eyebrow. “So which are we to believe? You haven’t seen him, or you ran into him just now?”

  Daphne stammered unintelligibly for a moment.

  Benedict scowled. “Alexander Pope said, ‘He who tells a lie is not sensible how great a task he undertakes; for he must be forced to invent twenty more to maintain that one.’”

  “What does that mean and who the hell cares what a moldy old pope says?”

  Sara actually laughed. “He’s not a pope. He’s an eighteenth-century poet. And it means when you tell a lie, you usually have to keep telling more lies to make people believe the first one.”

  “I didn’t ask you. And you need to…,” Daphne was interrupted by a knock at the door. She stomped across the room and opened it.

  “Daphne, I can’t—”

  “—Mark. Well, thank God. You won’t believe what garbage Sara has been spewing.”

  Mark scanned the room quickly, his eyes landing on Sara. “Sara, what on earth are you doing here with Ben? You were supposed to be at the spa.”

  Sara just stood there, looking at the man she thought had loved her, as he pretended nothing had happened and she was doing something wrong. “Mark, you can’t…you can’t…”

  Benedict stepped between them. “The lies are going to stop right now. Suggesting that Sara has done something wrong is ridiculous, not to mention craven. For God’s sake, at least be a man and own up to what you’ve done instead of trying to shift blame onto an innocent party.”

  “Ben, buddy, we’ve been friends forever. I would never make moves on your girl. You know that. It’s always been bros before hoes with us.”

  A puzzled look crossed Benedict’s face, but he masked it quickly. “Mark, buddy, no one said you were making moves on my girl.”

  “Well…uh…Daphne said Sara was telling you lies.”

  “Actually, she said Sara was ‘spewing garbage.’ But I find it rather odd that you jumped straight to that conclusion. So let’s all be very, very, clear here. I believe Sara walked into the cabin the two of you share and found you and Daphne engaged in a carnal act.”

  “You lying bitch,” Daphne snarled. “We weren’t doing anything carnal.”

  Sara snorted. “Daphne, do you know what carnal means?”

  “Something kinky and twisted from your crazy sex books.” She hissed.

  Sara laughed. “First, I don’t write sex books. I write paranormal and historical romance—not erotic romance. And second, carnal doesn’t mean kinky. It just means of a sexual nature. A hot kiss can be carnal.” Sara lifted an eyebrow. “So clearly, a blow job qualifies.”

  Daphne glared at Sara. At least Mark had the decency to look embarrassed.

  Benedict looked livid. Not the unrestrained fury that Benjamin would have exhibited, but still angry enough to be convincing. “Do either of you still wish to deny it?” Met with silence, he continued. “Right. Well, Mark, you’re welcome to continue your dalliance with Daphne. Our relationship is over. However, even you must realize that Sara should not be subjected to your indiscretion again. I suggest you go pack your things and vacate her cabin. I intend to do the same. Whether you stay in this cabin or not is up to Daphne.”

  Mark looked stunned. Sara suspected it was more from the shock of Benjamin being willing to give up the larger suite than anything else.

  Then Daphne burst into tears and threw herself at Benedict. “Darling, I’m so sorry. He made me do it. I’m behind on my car payments. He said he’d forgive a payment if I’d suck him off.”

  Benedict looked disgusted, physically recoiling from her.

  Mark was incredulous. “What?”

  Sara was frankly shocked at how quickly Daphne was willing to throw Mark under the bus.

  Benedict took Daphne by the shoulders, gently pushing her away. Sara suspected Benjamin wouldn’t have shown Daphne any consideration at all. “If that were true, Daphne, why didn’t you simply tell me?”

  “He…he’s your best friend. I was afraid it would hurt you.” Once again, Daphne overacted.

  Benedict nodded. “Ah, I see. You thought it would hurt me less for you to engage in unseemly acts with my best friend than to learn that he was a cur.” He tilted his head, giving her an uncharacteristically pitying look. “Daphne, surely even you can see how utterly ridiculous that is.”

  “I…I�
��”

  “Don’t even try to explain. Sara was correct. You are a terrible actress.”

  Daphne made one more attempt. “Ben, I lo—”

  He put up a hand. “Don’t dare say it. It isn’t true and I’m at the end of my patience. Now, both of you are going to leave. I will be out of here within the hour. Mark, I suggest you use the time to pack your things. If you don’t, I may be tempted to through them overboard.” Benedict’s eyes narrowed as he added, “and you with them.” That was much more consistent with Benjamin’s personality.

  Wisely choosing to say nothing more, Daphne stormed out.

  Mark looked as if he were going to appeal once again to Ben, but as he opened his mouth, he turned to address Sara instead. “Sweetheart, it isn’t what you think. It was Daph—”

  Benedict put up a hand again to stop whatever Mark was about to say. “I asked you to leave. If you say another word, you will regret it.” The menace in his tone was so clear and chilling, for a moment Sara thought Benjamin’s soul had returned.

  Mark left without another word.

  Sara stared at the door as it closed behind him.

  “Sara, I’m sorry he hurt you.”

  She started at the sound of Benjamin’s uncharacteristically kind tone. “Thank you. And thank you for standing up for me.”

  “You are very welcome. However, I fear I’ve made a rather large mistake. I said I would vacate this cabin, without another place to stay.”

  Sara smiled. “You are more than welcome to share my cabin tonight. I’ll be leaving the ship tomorrow anyway.”

  Benedict frowned. “Thank you. I appreciate your hospitality. However, I’m sorry to hear you’ll be leaving.”

  “I have wanted to take a cruise like this for years. But I fear my dream come true has turned into a nightmare.”

  “I understand. I’ll have to rely on you to make any necessary arrangements for us.”

  “You don’t have to leave, just because I am.”

  “I can’t let you travel unaccompanied.”

  Sara laughed. “Of course you can. Benedict, times have changed quite a lot. I am more than capable of travelling alone.”