The Lost Soul Read online

  That was about the last thing she expected to hear.

  “Touching ye, kissing ye…I didn’t intend to do that.”

  Ah, he was feeling regret. While this caused a stab of pain, she recovered quickly. “Please Noah, ye needn’t worry about it. It won’t happen again.”

  He gave a wry laugh. “That’s what I’m worried about.”

  Again, the absolutely unexpected response.

  “Sweetling, I told ye last night that I love ye, and I do. But even I didn’t realize how much until we kissed.”

  “But Noah—”

  He put up a hand. “Nay, hear me out. We are perfect for each other. I know my father made a vague promise to Amos, but that’s just it, it was never formalized. Even the church wouldn’t recognize it as a betrothal. And it isn’t as if I don’t have two other brothers who could marry Amos’s lassies. Da agreed that one of his three youngest sons would marry his eldest daughter. Amos wanted time to decide which of us would be best for Nell. Well I can promise ye, a man who is ten years older and in love with someone else is not the best candidate.”

  She couldn’t help but laugh at this.

  He grinned sheepishly. “Furthermore, discussing what the laird might have planned for ye, I don’t think I could bear seeing ye married to someone else.” He cupped her cheek and kissed her. “I don’t want anyone else to taste these lips or feel yer soft body writhe beneath him.”

  “Writhe?” she asked, not completely sure of exactly what men and women did together.

  He chuckled and kissed her again. “Aye, my beautiful lass, there will be writhing and I’ll see that ye enjoy every moment.”

  A hot blush rose in her cheeks, but probably more because she wanted him to make love to her more than out of any embarrassment.

  He pulled her onto his lap and kissed her again, deeply and passionately this time. All shyness fled. She wanted nothing more than to stay here, on his lap and in his arms, forever.

  Finally he ended the kiss and caressed her cheek. “I love ye, Margaret. Please be my wife.”

  She rested her head on his chest and sighed. She wanted this with all of her being. Not simply to love and be loved, but to love this man and to be loved by him in return.

  “I want nothing more. But—”

  He put a finger on her lips. “Nay, don’t finish that thought. I will find a way.”

  Chapter 6

  John sat on the bench outside his front door, enjoying the late afternoon sunshine. Margaret and Noah should have been back by now. He smiled to himself. Maybe they were lost in each other’s company.

  That wouldn’t upset him at all. It’s what he had hoped for. He had admired and respected Noah for quite a few years now. In fact he wasn’t the only one who’d wanted this. At least three years ago his wife, Annie, had suggested that he approach Noah’s father and ask for a betrothal.

  “John, no man in his right mind would refuse such an offer for one of his younger sons. Ye don’t farm a large tract, but it’s big enough to support a small family, while not being so large that it requires many hands to do the work.”

  John had agreed with her, but Margaret had only been fifteen at the time. Most common folk didn’t seek betrothals years in advance as noblemen did. What’s more, he would prefer that Margaret have a say in choosing her husband and she had been much too young for that yet.

  Still, Annie kept after him. “That young man is too attractive for his own good. Every lass within miles will be eyeing him. Talk to his da and just let him know ye’d be happy to discuss such a match.”

  She had been right. Noah was only four years older than Margaret. They had known each other since they were children. Now that they were older, they had fewer opportunities to spend time together. The hope that they’d fall for each other with no outside help was foolish. So last year, after the harvest was in, and they were celebrating the feast of St. Michael, John had discussed it with David.

  “Ah, John,” he said, “Margaret is a sweet lass and with yer farm as her dowry, that’s a hard offer to pass. But Amos has three daughters and a larger tract to farm. I agreed years ago that I would settle one of my younger sons with Nell. Furthermore, if he agreed to divide the tract, I’d let another son marry his second daughter.”

  “But Nell is ten years younger than Noah,” John had argued. Surely Paul or Matthew would be better choices as they’re much younger than Noah.”

  “Perhaps, but I left it up to Amos. He wants to wait until his lassies are a bit older before deciding.”

  There was no talking him around, so John had quit trying.

  Then, this past winter, as Annie lay dying, he began to worry again. What if something happened to him? Margaret would be left alone and her fate would be in the hands of the laird. In fairness, Laird Keith was a good man and would see that Margaret was taken care of. However, he knew that didn’t necessarily mean she’d be able to stay here on this land. So John had continued to hope that Amos would decide to settle Nell with one of David’s other sons. As yet, that hadn’t happened.

  It was his dearest hope that Noah would fall in love with Margaret and take matters into his own hands. In good conscience, John didn’t feel he should suggest it. He considered both David and Amos good friends. All John could do was ensure that Noah and Margaret had ample opportunities to spend time together.

  He wasn’t sure how long he’d pondered these things when he heard horses. He turned to see the laird and a handful of his guardsmen approaching.

  John sighed heavily. His time was up. He had to address Margaret’s fate now.

  He welcomed the laird and his men when they arrived and offered them refreshment. “It’s a fine warm day, will ye have a mug of heather ale?”

  “That’s very kind of ye, John. We’d appreciate a cool drink.”

  So John fetched the cask of ale from the springhouse and filled a wooden mug for each of them.

  Initially, the laird only inquired about the harvest.

  “The oats are all in, Laird. The sheaves are standing in the fields, drying. It was a very good crop this year.”

  “Excellent. Ye’ve done very well. I’ll be sending out wagons in a few days to collect the sheaves. When the grain has all been threshed, winnowed and milled, I’ll send ye a portion back.”

  “Thank ye, laird.” This was how it was always done. It took many hands to process the grain, and less was lost if it was all combined.

  The laird glanced around. “Where is yer lovely granddaughter today?”

  “She’s moving our sheep to another pasture.”

  “I see. She does a fair bit of the farm work?”

  “Aye, Laird. She has for years. She’s a dab hand at nearly anything that needs doing.”

  Laird Keith smiled and nodded. “I’m sure she is. John, I’d like to discuss something with ye privately.”

  “Certainly. Would ye like to go into the cottage?”

  “Aye, I think that would be best.”

  Once they were inside, John said, “Please have a seat. And can I refill yer mug?”

  “Nay, thank ye, I’ve plenty,” said the laird as he sat down. “And please sit. This isn’t a conversation to have standing.”

  “Thank ye, Laird,” said John, taking the seat opposite the laird and waiting silently for him to raise the subject.”

  “John, this is never easy so I’ll just say it. I can no longer ignore the fact that ye aren’t as strong as ye once were. The day is coming soon when ye won’t be able to handle this farm anymore, even with Margaret’s help.”

  John sighed. “Aye, Laird. But it hasn’t come yet.”

  “Perhaps not. Still, it would be irresponsible on both our parts if we don’t address this now.”

  “The harvest is in, Laird. Surely it can wait until spring.”

  A sad smile crossed his features. “I don’t think it can. What’s more, I’m fairly sure ye know that yerself. Ye’d never have sent her to move the sheep on her own otherwise.”

 
John decided not to tell him that she wasn’t alone. “I suppose it is time to see her married. Perhaps to one of David’s younger sons.” It didn’t hurt to make the suggestion.

  The laird steepled his fingers under his chin, appearing to take no notice of what John had said. “This isn’t the largest farm on my lands. Even so, it takes the work of several hands to keep it going. If I see her married to a farmer, she will still need to help with the work. But what will happen when she has children to tend on top of everything else?”

  John frowned. He didn’t like the direction this was going. “She’ll manage. Annie did.”

  “Perhaps, but I was thinking it would be best if I settled a married man here. One whose children are already old enough to help.”

  John hadn’t expected this. “Laird, this is our home.”

  “Aye, but ye’ve earned the right to a bit of ease. I would give ye a home in the village and a stipend on which to live. Ye could spend yer last days in comfort without the worry that goes hand in hand with farming.”

  This wasn’t at all what John wanted, but he had to hear his laird out. “And Margaret?”

  “One of my guardsmen has been fond of her for quite a while. He would like to offer for her hand.”

  A guardsman? Someone Margaret barely knew? “Laird, she loves this farm. It’s her home. Please don’t force her—either of us—to leave it.”

  The laird looked a bit taken aback. “I had hoped force wouldn’t be required. I thought perhaps she’d like the opportunity to improve her station.”

  Improve her station. John hadn’t thought of it in that way. Marrying a guardsman would do certainly do that. Not to mention that she would never have to worry about a crop failing or losing livestock to thieves, illness or predators. Keith guardsmen were well compensated. She would never know want. There would always be plenty of food on the table.

  Maybe he should reconsider this. Aye, this had been his home his entire life. He didn’t want to leave it. But was he being selfish? His life was almost over. Did it really matter where he drew his last breath as long as Margaret was with him and he knew her future was secure?

  “John? Ye’ve gone very quiet on me.”

  “I’m sorry, Laird. Ye just gave me something to ponder.”

  The laird chuckled. “And where has that pondering led ye?”

  “Well, sir, I don’t think Margaret cares much about her station. And I know she loves this farm. But it is hard to ignore the security she’d gain by being married to a guardsman.”

  “Indeed.”

  John had assumed the laird would suggest a farmer’s son—or perhaps several, all of whom he knew.

  He himself had already vaguely suggested one of David’s sons. He was certain if Margaret married Noah she would have a loving marriage and a happy life. What was more important than that? He had to ask again.

  “Sir, I know ye have her best interests at heart, but would ye consider marrying her to a farmer? Perhaps David’s son, Noah?”

  The laird smiled sadly. “I heard yer suggestion the first time. Noah is a fine young man, but I have already given my approval for a wedding between him and Amos’s eldest daughter.”

  John couldn’t hide his disappointment. “I didn’t know Amos had decided which of David’s sons he wanted for Nell.”

  “The decision was made this morning. I doubt Amos has even had time to tell David yet. John I’ll say it again, I think the marriage I’m proposing is in everyone’s best interests.”

  “I appreciate that, sir. It’s just that I’m sure she’d be happier married to someone she knows better.”

  “Noblemen nearly always marry complete strangers. And it isn’t as if she’s never met the man.”

  John wouldn’t point out that Margaret was not a noblewoman. “Which of yer men is it?”

  “Gavin.”

  John frowned. “I don’t know him very well.”

  The laird smiled. “He’s young and has only been a guardsman for a couple of years. But he’s a good man—one of my best. He is strong and level-headed. Perhaps a little on the quiet side.”

  John nodded, mulling this over. Finally he asked, “Do I have any choice in this, laird?”

  Laird Keith sighed heavily. “If ye’re absolutely opposed to it, I won’t force her to marry Gavin. However, I must give this parcel of land to someone who is younger and strong enough to manage it.”

  That meant there was no choice. They had to move to the village, and if that was inevitable, marriage to a guardsman was indeed what was best for Margaret. “May I have the chance to speak to Gavin before things are finalized?” He wanted to speak with Margaret too, but there was little to be gained by that. They had to do as the laird commanded. Perhaps it would simply be better to present her with the reality of the situation.

  “I thought ye might want to. He’s with me today.” The laird went to the door of the cottage and called, “Gavin, would ye join us please.”

  Chapter 7

  Noah relished every moment of the ride back to her grandfather’s cottage. He had his beloved in his arms and she had agreed to marry him. There was just the slight problem of his father, but he was confident they’d be able to work this out.

  However, as they rode into view of the cottage, his spirits fell. The laird, several of his men and John were in the yard. He had hoped to be able to speak with John alone, but perhaps this was for the best.

  Margaret’s breath hitched and she whispered, “Oh no.”

  “Don’t worry, my love.”

  “Nay, ye don’t understand. Grandfather believes that the laird is going to either move us to the village or find a husband for me.”

  “Well, we’ll be able to save him the trouble of looking then. I’m sure it will be fine.”

  But he wasn’t sure.

  And it wasn’t fine.

  Just as Margaret had suspected, the laird visited John to discuss the farm and a husband for Margaret. However, Noah, like everyone else who had speculated about the situation, assumed that the laird would want Margaret to marry someone who could manage the farm. If she didn’t wish to do that, being a compassionate man, most folks thought he’d offer them a home in the village.

  But that wasn’t the case. The laird wasn’t giving them an option to stay on the farm at all, and even worse, he wanted her to marry Gavin, one of his guardsmen.

  If felt as if someone had punched Noah in the gut.

  Noah stood in front of the laird, Margaret at his side, her hand in his. “Laird, would ye please reconsider allowing John and Margaret to stay on the farm? I want to marry her. I love her and she loves me.”

  “Noah, ye aren’t free to marry,” said the laird.

  “Pardon me sir, but the agreement my father has with Amos is for one of his sons to marry wee Nell. I have two younger brothers who would be much better suited than I. She’s but eleven now.”

  “I know the terms of the agreement. And yesterday, I’d have considered it. But I spoke with Amos this morning. He asked for permission to finalize the betrothal between Nell and yerself.”

  “But has it been finalized?” Noah asked. A formal betrothal was as good as a wedding. Getting out of it was an arduous process.

  The laird shrugged. “I don’t know. I doubt it. I spoke to Amos before coming here. He’s let it go this long. I don’t imagine he rushed off to see yer da after our meeting.”

  “Then as long as there isn’t a formal betrothal, I am free to marry.”

  The laird drew himself up. “Ye are only free to marry if I grant my permission, which I have not done. I granted my permission for ye to marry Nell. Besides, the fact remains, I think it takes more than two people to manage this farm.”

  “With all due respect, laird, I believe that Margaret and I are more than capable of managing this farm. But I’m not asking ye to give it to me with Margaret’s hand. I’m only asking for her hand. If ye don’t wish for us to stay here, we won’t.”

  He felt Margaret tremble and glan
ced at her. Tears had started to slip down her face. Instantly, the laird and everyone else disappeared for him. He only had eyes for the woman he loved whose heart was breaking. He pulled her into his embrace. “Oh nay, Margaret, don’t cry. Please, don’t cry.”

  She nodded and tried to regain control. But once she did, she stepped away from him and turned towards the laird.

  “Sir, ye’re my laird. My parents and grandparents and their grandparents before them have served on Keith land as long as there have been Keiths here. I love my grandfather and I understand his desire to live his last days here. I love this farm. It’s my home and I’d always imagined raising my own children here. Ye know that we have always been faithful to the clan and this land. Even so, if ye believe there is someone better able to tend it, as much as it will cause my heart to ache, I will respect that. But please, I’m begging ye, please let me marry Noah.”

  Laird Keith frowned. “I gave Amos my blessing on the union between Noah and Nell.”

  Margaret bit her lips. It appeared to take everything in her to keep the tears at bay.

  Noah glanced at John who looked near tears himself.

  Then, very softly with her head bowed, she said, “Please, laird.”

  Sighing heavily, the laird’s shoulders slumped. “If,” he said, stopping for emphasis, “and only if,” he continued, “a formal betrothal has not yet been finalized—”

  Margaret’s head shot up as quickly as Noah’s did.

  “And both Noah’s father and Amos agree, ye will have my permission to marry.”

  Noah could not suppress his sigh of relief. “Thank ye, Laird. Please pardon me, but it’s rather urgent I get home immediately.”

  The laird waved him away.

  “With yer permission, Laird, I’ll just bid him farewell,” said Margaret.

  “Aye, ye may go.”

  Slipping her hand into Noah’s she walked with him to the small paddock.

  As they walked, Noah’s thoughts were spinning. They were not out of the woods yet. She started to speak but he stopped her. “We don’t have a lot of time, so I need ye to listen. I am overjoyed that Laird Keith gave his tentative approval, but I’m worried about the conditions he’s imposed. Like the laird, I doubt that Amos and my father have had a chance to finalize anything yet. And I believe I can gain my father’s approval. But I am not at all confident about what Amos’s reaction will be.”